President Obonjo went ballistic when he found out last night that one of his ministers had been watching porn movies at their home
President Obonjo went ballistic when he found out last night that one of his ministers had been watching porn movies at their home – and putting them on the Lafta official expenses.
A friend said last night: “On a scale of anger from one to 10 he was at 85.”
In a furious showdown the “mortified” President threatened to sack all Cabinet Ministers and ask them to reapply for their positions.
It is unclear which of the Cabinet Ministers are affected by the scandal but it is alledged a plastic doll was found in the Cabinet Minister's office while he was away from the office.
John Etelabi - Opposition Leader - It’s one thing to make dubious claims but for the a cabinet minister to be claiming for pornographic TV is completely beyond the pale. He said its beyond a joke and I have not stopped Laughing since the news broke out.
Lafta Times is asking members of the public to guess which Cabinet Minister is involved in the scandal. Photos of current ministers can be found below . An award of 10,000 Lafta Jokes will be given to the Lafta Citizen who names the right Minister.
John Laftanose - Newly Appointed Minister for Nose Jobs. Responsible for re-arranging people who are unhappy with their nose. Spent the last few years in America perfecting his knowlegde on Lafta Nose Research. A perfect candidate to run for Governor of the Nostril state based inthe Southern part of the Lafta Republic. Former Chairman of I Love my Nose Council Ward.
First Oyinbo Minister in Lafta Republic. President Obonjo is very excited that Oyinbo is the first Oyinbo in his cabinet. This demonstrates true leadership from Obonjo reflecting the diverse communities in the Lafta Republic.
Rotaya Fun - Minister of Fun for Lafta Republic loves his white tie and whites buttons very much. Responsible for Fun Strategy
Imimigration Officer in Lafta Republic
Press Secretary - Lafta Republic
Ambassador to Iran , Iraq and Middle East Affairs for Lafta Republic. Currently practising Lafta smiles for the Arabic community its no coincidence he has an Arabic Scarf on.
Mr Poser - Chief of Staff also responsible for Internet , Nepa and Network connection in Lafta Repbulic. He was trying to get away from a late night joint in his car. Caught on camera the Chief of staff smiles
Ikumufun - Minister for Obonjomania - Declared and blocked the streets in Nigeria to celebrate President Obonjo's birthday. Responsible for Obonjomania Strategy across the world . Raises his hands when emphasising a point. May run for Governor positions when new States are created in Lafta Republic
Cheetah Cheche - FCT Minister - cant do without his white tiger at Cabinet meetings
Dapofunny - Miracle Minister
Filamushin - Anti Fraud Minister - Wrote to President Obonjo asking for Rotoye to be removed from Cabinet - Obonjo needs to watch him closely.The only Minister with tribal marks the first in Obonjo's cabinet.
Minister of Shoes - Responsible for Ladies Shoes strategy for Lafta Republic
Ernest Okoro - AD to the President - Formerly house boy for a middle class family in America. He knows what the President wants there are levels of errands , the Prresidential errand is a better one.
Tolluforfun - Minister of defense and strategic toasting also responsible for Women Affairs, Delivered a Brilliant Paper at the Woman days conference, " What Men are looking for under there." on special invitation by South Africa Minister for Women Who are still single.
Olatun Fun - Vice President of Lafta Republic - Has been very silent since the allegations surfaced about the President, a reliable source confirmed he is plotting to be President while Obonjo is away in London for the G20 summit. He is clearly upset that Obonjo did not ask him to step up while he is in the country. Vice President will crave to be President but just like Atikuless he will not reach his promised destination
Lafta Doll found in Cabinet Minsters Office
Dalefun - Minister for Jollification and Extra Matrial Affairs moonlights and runs an Agony Uncle website http://www.delmax.co.uk/index.php, refuses to advise the President on the Ramota Allegations
Transport Minister recommends ATM on Molue , A recent article in stated the Transport Minister as announcing that NTIDA in partnership with a Private Business will be overseeing the installation of 1000 ATM machines in Molue's. As if to validate the general perception of incompetence the Nigerian public has towards NITDA, the Transport Minister went further to state that, “NITDA will provide Mobile Internet Units, which are minivans specially fitted with internet access to the CHAMS Consortium. Each of the MIUs will house five computers and three kiosks/ATMs to enable the users have the opportunity to browse the internet and also use other facilities while on the molue
Captain Akerefun - Head Chef - Minister for Food and Fisheries and Egbin
Baloforfun - Minister for Information - Responsible for rebranding Lafta Republic spends most of his time abroad running one of the hottest comedy shows in Europe. From Nigeria Comedy to Gospel Comedy shows not to be missed. Moonlights to arrange Comedy shows also known as Mr Nigeria - Obonjo better watch out in a white suit and on a white boat he looks Presidential.
Mr Nigeria's next show see link http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1599086899
Tommy Hilfiger - Business Secretary also known as Snoop Dog . I am pleased to have him in my govament
Artfun - Minister of Enjoyment he is pushing for President Obonjo to send reinforcements to Amsterdam. Its been a battle of will power and white trousers, Obonjo is reviewing the Amsterdam Strategy he wants to replace it with an Otunba style attack. There is a rumour he moonlights from his Ministerial duties to carry out the promotion of JD promotions. Ministerial Salary is not enough in dis economic climate
Sunglasses Musician- Newly Appointed Minister for Fake Sunglases - Succesfully passed a Law for Sunglasses to be worn in the house ,even if its not sunny just wear it at home was his Campaign Slogan. I am pleased he is joining my cabinet .
President Obonjo is an inclusive leader he knows Ben Justice wants to run against him in the next election. In the meantime Obonjo appoints Ben Justice as Minister of Justice. Began a whispering campaign about Obonjo having an affair with his housegirl this has not changed the views of Citizens of Lafta Republic. President Obonjo has a 60% rating.
Lukman Etelabi - New Appointed Minister for Innovation and Exercising - Responsible for running aimlessly all over Lagos Roads and posts photos on fb as evidence that he went running rather moonlighting from home. Responsible for using walls, any wall in Lagos to exercise.
Alhaji Tajudeen Nutter - Newly Appointed Minister for fun - Since President Obonjo discovered the porn scandal by his Cabinet Minister he has been looking to find a replacement . Obonjo has been keen to find a good replacement a 9ice version of the singer 9ice but also keen to find a nutter on stage to translate his skills in the Lafta Cabinet. Tajudeen will fit this role and has a wide variety of experience.
Obonjo also said we need someone who is close to Arab Money mo fe wa gba iyara mewa.... $4000 per night.
U can eat your cake n have it.....
Come to Abu Dhabi n spend Arab money...
Land of milk n honey...
mo ti gba yara mewa si bujarahara...
Saudi Arabia in my jalamiya...
Just say Arab money...
U r on fire olu maintain.. thumbs up for dis joint... am loving it.
Tajudeeen, responsible for organising one of the most in short best crack ribbing shows in Europe last weekend. Obonjo is pleased to have Tajudeen in his cabinet.
Badboy Made - Fashions Minister
I am pleased to announce the appointment of Badboy Made as Fashions Minister , he has a wide range of experience of dressing in orange and gold attire , clothes that could blind you forever. Expert at Jerry Curls 25 years after it was in fashion he still he has one on.
Keen to be made Finance, Oil and Gas Minister lets see how he handles this position.
 This is a striking pose of Obama deep in his thoughts but I want to get out of my comfort Zone and inteprete this photo in another way
1. He is looking up Hilary Klantons backside and wondering what a great view
2. He is thinking of Obonjo's message of hope and how that has inspired him.
3. He is thinking of Anuli Joy and her need to identify new products and services
4, He is in the hallyway of a council property in the UK getting ready to address crime issues on a run down estate
5. He has no idea of what he wants to say but will mention change and hope a dozen times
6. Nature calls what a better way to do it than to squat he is only human
7. He is wondering whether to have an African Dog or Western Dog in the white house
8. Does he have an intern in the white house that can blow pipe rather then the real thing
9. Wondering why Nigerians call Michelle - Minchelle
10, Whether to give Minchelle one and have a male son or have another wife from Kenya
11. Thinking of the song Signed and Delivered by Stevie Wonder
12. Thinking of the song Black and White by Michael Jackson
13. Stressed out thinking of taking Minchelle to Mama Calabar after the speech
14. Not knowing where to start with America's issues
Painting found in Cabinet Minister's Office
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