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A friend of mine has asked if it was possible to use a Laptop in a Molue in Lagos , I saw the message on his status and it just made me laugh , what a great start to a sunny day. Well i have been imagining what it would be like to use your laptop in a molue. I only used the Molue once or twice and that was after I had left Nigeria and went back home for a holiday. It was a thrill to get on the Molue, one of many traditions I remember about the great state of Lagos State. At times I thought i was in a yellow taxi from New York , it was only a matter of time before I pinched myself and realised I was in Nigeria.
Molue is a yellow bus with tattered seats with passengers packed like sardines in the bus. These Molue's are like death traps certainly not road worthy but does the business in transporting lots of people to their destination. It also a cheap form of transport. If you are to enter one ensure you have bottled water u are likely to collpase because of the heat , if you do not have your own bottled water you are going to be approached to buy pure water. I think you could use your laptop in the Molue but you are likely to attract attention to yourself and the chance of your laptop arriving with you at your destination is very slim indeed. I think because of the way the Molue is jam packed it would be difficult to use ur Laptop but I think you can get away with a blackberry or PDA but once again you are asking for trouble. I remember attracting the Area Boys because I wore this panda wrist watch and white with trousers, I stood up like a sore tomb, yes Londoner abi American the bobo e ooo. Na GOD save me after a few tips of dosh they let me go, it did not help that I also had jerry curls it was the fashion statement in those days. Yellow tee shirt, white trouses , white tennis shoes feeling funky catching a Molue thinkiing it will be nice to explore Lagos streets like Oyinbo people do.
Anyway if you ever try to enter Molue in Nigeria here are some ground rules ooo
If U carry yansh occupy two pesin seat na two pesin moni U go pay!
If U wan ride Molue wey dey alao 'Staff' (people wey dey claim title wey no wan pay) ride na dat oda one wey im drifer na albino make U look.
The claims of the merchant wey dey try sell U the 'Cure All' merecine on top this Molue are not necessarily the same of the Naija Rough Riders Transport PLC, its affiliates or management.
If we jam pesin and U wan claim insurance U no dey ride here again after we fix moto!
Abeg if ya breast don wohwoh finish no begin carry am feed pikin for here..try konsida sey oda people dey ride.
If U give conductor moni wey don tear walai talai NA SKATTA!
Make U pack yuasef and yua frens make una siddon for one place cause we no wan hear dat nonsense 'My broda go pay U for back' yan!
Becos U hang for doormot when U dey ride no mean sey U dey pay haf price O!
We don post disclaimer incase awa seat stain, rough, or tear ya outfit for yansh when we siddon..no be by force sey U muss nak yansh for chair ride.
We reserf di right to claim ya moni if we announce sey we no get change but U no gree hear word still carry Agidi enta....change na prifilej no be right!
Women...una no fit sue for sesua harasmen for here because na ya word against man when people pack like sandine and U wan claim sey guys dey take style tap current...
And if man wey tanda and U siddon dey take style peek inside ya cleafage nex time make U carry peg hold am or clamp ya handbag for chest
Woman wey ride wiff driver for front dey subject to toasting....dat na prifilej to ride wiff my oga!!
If U dey ride for night make U hold correct change becos if conductor muss turn torchlight an extra two minits to make shenj ol boy dat na extra sharj O!
Molue trunk no dey open so if U get extra load know oredi sey U go pay extra for seat or roof loading.
Refund no dey incase MoPol stop us seize Molue becos E no pass Road Worthiness.
E get some times wey the choke button no go work well well so make una hang on well well incase conductor go need to push up or downhill make driver come remove leg from clutch chuck am one time to start.
If U ride ontop rear bumper and U break am U GO PAY!
Refund no dey if OPC stop us for road talk sey dem need Molue for 'operation'...U wan follo dem argue? go ahead!.....and finally....
Na only drifer or conductor get otoriti to request make Molue stop make im troway small piss nak tree before we continue journey.....
...abi I lie?
Adesegun Thompson Transport
Obonjo's conversation in a Molue with Area Boys
Obonjo: dem don tif my laptop oooo!!! Oya, stop the molue!!!
Awon boys: Oga, na you dey shout say dem tif your laptop?
Obonjo: Yes ooo!! Dem don carry am oooo!!!... Read more
Awon boys: Ol boy, you too dey shout!! Oya, check this bag for your laptop jare!!! No be that old Dell wey you dey use?
Obonjo: *checks bag and picks his own*
Awon boys: Shey you see Sony VAIO, latest HP, Samsung special edition dere! When we collect dem from oyinbo and americana, none of dem shout reach you and dat yer old Dell no pass N5k for computer village! Carry go jo! Oniranu!!! Dey waste our time with hin cheapey old cargo!!
Obonjo: *jumps out as soon as molue slows down and still in motion, staining his white trousers and sneakers*
President of Lafta Republic
I had left the Molue and thought I could take photos of the Molue and e mail it to the nearest Olopa Friday Police station
Transport Minister recommends ATM on Molue , A recent article in stated the Transport Minister as announcing that NTIDA in partnership with a Private Business will be overseeing the installation of 1000 ATM machines in Molue's. As if to validate the general perception of incompetence the Nigerian public has towards NITDA, the Transport Minister went further to state that, “NITDA will provide Mobile Internet Units, which are minivans specially fitted with internet access to the CHAMS Consortium. Each of the MIUs will house five computers and three kiosks/ATMs to enable the users have the opportunity to browse the internet and also use other facilities while on the molue
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Name: Bamidele Barry
Country: United Kingdom
Birthday: 2/23/1965
Gender: Male |
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